A 3-tiered model of trust, and how con men hack people.

Something I’ve observed in a variety of human organizations, including almost all businesses, is that the wrong people are making major decisions. I’m not talking about second-best players or even mediocrities becoming leaders; I’m talking about the rise of people who shouldn’t even be trusted with a bag of rock salt. White-collar social climbers with no more integrity than common con artists are the ones to rise through the ranks, while the most honest people (some deserving, most not) are the ones to stagnate or be pushed out. Why is this happening? It’s not that all successful and powerful people are bad. Some are; most aren’t. The problem is more subtle: it’s that the wrong people are trusted. Good people are probably slightly more likely to succeed than bad people at forming companies, but bad people rise through the ranks and take them over nonetheless. To understand why this happens, it’s important to understand trust, and why it is so easy for a class of people to earn trust they don’t deserve, and to retain that trust in spite of bad actions.

As I work my way through George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire, I’m starting to get a sense of just how well this author understands human nature. Unlike many fantasy novels with clear heroes and cosmic villains, the moral topology of Martin’s world is approached from several dog’s eye views, without omniscient or prescriptive narration. It’s not clear who the heroes and villains are. Charming characters can be treacherous, while those hardest to love are the most interesting. Martin writes using limited third-person narration, but each chapter from a different character’s point of view. What is most interesting is how the perception of a character changes once his or her intentions are revealed. In a novel, you actually can understand the motivations of characters– even dangerous and disliked ones like Jaime Lannister and Theon Greyjoy. You can get the whole story. In real life, people only get their own.

Something emerges as I relate the moral questions posed by narrative to the murkier world of human interaction, and it’s why people (myself included) are generally so awful at judging character. I’ve come to the conclusion that, subconsciously, most of us model the questions of peoples’ trustworthiness with a three-tiered approach. The superficial tier is that person’s speech and social skill. What does he say? The middle tier is the person’s actions. What does he do? The deepest tier is that person’s intention. What does he want? For better or worse, our tendency to separate people into “good” and “evil” relies on our assessment of a person’s true intention, rather than that person’s action.

A person who does seemingly bad things for good purposes is a dark hero, like Severus Snape in the Harry Potter series. A person who does good things for bad intentions (consider the Manhattan charity scene, a theater for social climbing more than service) is a disliked phony. This attitude would make a lot of sense, if we could reliably read peoples’ intentions. We develop first-degree trust in a person if we find that person to be socially pleasant. At this level, we’d invite that person to a party, but not share our deepest secrets. We develop second-degree trust in people who do things we like, and who refrain from doing things we dislike. Most people would call a mutual relationship of second-degree trust a friendship, although friendship involves other axes than trust alone. Third-degree trust is reserved for people we believe have the best intentions: people who might commit actions we dislike (potentially having information we don’t) but who we believe will do the right thing.

If the exploit isn’t visible, I’ll spell it out cleanly. In the real world, one really never knows what another person’s intentions are. That’s pure guesswork. Unlike in fiction, we only know our own intentions, and sometimes not even that. We have a desperate desire to know others’ intentions, but we never will. The quality of evidence available to us, even for the most perceptive and socially skilled people, is poor. So, this admits a hack. What tends to happen when knowledge is impossible to have but people desperately want it? People come up with explanations, and those with the most pleasing ones profit. Many religious organizations and movements exist on this principle alone. That which is said in the right way can appear to betray intentions. In other words, a first-level interaction (what the person says) is dressed up as carrying third-degree knowledge (of intimate intention).

This is how con artists work, but it also explains the operation of white-collar social climbers and the shenanigans that corporations use, in the guise of corporate “culture” and “changing the world”, to encourage naive young people to work three times as hard as they need to, for half the reward. They create a ruse of transparency about their intentions, earning some measure of third-degree trust from the naive. What this allows them to do is be malevolent on the second degree (i.e. perform bad actions, including those harming the finances and careers of their victims) and have a surprising number of loyal acolytes (including victims) making excuses for this behavior.

Essentially, this is the first tier of interaction and trust (the superficial one) overriding the second (of actions) by masquerading as the third (of intentions). It’s an exploit that exists because people don’t want to admit to the true nature of the world they live in, which is one where another person’s intentions are almost always opaque. This doesn’t mean most people are “bad” (not true) or have “hidden agendas” (true but irrelevant, in that all “agendas” are equally hidden)– it’s just the structural nature of a world where minds are very difficult, and sometimes impossible, to read. People have a hard time accepting this limitation, especially because the most socially confident seem not to have it, even though all people do. They compensate by developing the notion that they can read others’ intentions, a foolish confidence in their own social skill.

Some people are easy to read. For example, infants usually cry because they’re cold, hot, hungry, thirsty, or in pain. Children are, likewise, often relatively easy to read. The least socially skilled third of adults are generally easy to understand, at least partially, in this way. Moreover, assessments of motivation are often made as a sort of social punishment for undesirable actions: it’s bad enough for this person to be caught, but the insult is the assessment of his motivation. It’s a paternalistic way of calling someone a child. I know what you’re up to. It’s an assertion of confidence that often has no basis, but it gives a certain class of people confidence in their paternalistic superiority. People with this attitude tend to grow in their foolish confidence as they become more successful and powerful, and to their detriment. As they rise, they need lackeys and lieutenants and advisors. They need to trust people; most of all, they need to believe they can trust peoples’ intentions. Of course, they’ve also been shaped by experience into a person with supreme confidence in their own ability to judge others’ character…

Enter the psychopath. Contrary to popular depiction, most psychopaths are not murderers, rapists, or torturers. The majority of them are not violent, and those with violent intentions are usually able to have others do their dirty work. Most eschew violence, which is dangerous, illegal, and almost never confers any benefit (financial or social) in modern times. They’d rather rob people than kill them– it’s easier, and the rewards are greater. Also, it’s an open question whether psychopathy is “mental illness”, but there is no connection between psychopathy and psychosis, the latter rarely being associated with mental effectiveness or social skill. Instead, psychopaths’ minds tend to be as clear as anyone else’s. What characterizes the psychopath is a lack of conscience and an infinitely deep selfishness. Also, most of them are exceptionally skilled actors. Although their emotional growth tends to be stunted in childhood or adolescence, they can mimic as wide a range of emotions as anyone else. In fact, they are superior to typical people at having the “right” emotions for various circumstances. Psychopaths have no tell-tale signs, and they don’t seem like “mean” people. They are effectively invisible. Among the upper management of most companies, they are surprisingly common, yet never detected until after they’ve done their damage.

Psychopaths could not be more at home than they are in the white-collar social climbing theater of the typical corporation. The outsized rewards for corporate officers feed their narcissism, the intrigues enable their cutthroat tendencies, and their superficial charm enables their effortless rise. They acquire (misplaced) trust quickly, on account of their unusually high skill at emotional mimicry. They are not supernatural, so they cannot read the intentions of those they intend to please. Instead, they dress their intentions in such a way that the people in power will read whatever they want to see. Like “psychics”, they hedge what they say with the purpose of being right by those in power on account of flexible interpretation. They seem to have “vision” and character because they can exploit the “just like me” fallacy of their superiors. In reality, they are the worst kind of mercenary turncoat. Their “vision” is of themselves on top of something, but that could be a mountain of gold or of bones. They don’t care, as long as they win and others lose.

After a psychopath has run his course, the company where he worked is usually damaged immensely. Million- or billion-dollar losses can occur, top executives can be jailed, and thousands of jobs can be cut. Psychopaths burn whatever is no longer useful to them. After this, people tend to back-reason their interactions with that person. “I knew he was up to something.” “I never liked him.” In most cases, that’s not accurate. What really happened is this: it was obvious that this person’s actions (second level) were risky, harmful, or even criminal, but the person was so effective at making it seem that he had the right intentions (third level) that people ignored the obvious warning signs. They made excuses. They misinterpreted the person’s superficial charm as a sign of good intentions, and they were burned. Or, perhaps this word is better: they were hacked.

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7 thoughts on “A 3-tiered model of trust, and how con men hack people.

  1. You can also apply the exact same framework even if you’re not a psychopath, for good purposes.

    What a lot of socially awkward people do is come off with weird/creepy/”wrong” intentions, even if their intentions are totally positive. Your intention is communicated more through nonverbal cues than through the words you say-”I like your shirt” could come across as a pleasant compliment, flirtatious, or extremely creepy depending on the circumstances.

    So one of the best ways to improve your communication and influence is to focus on what kind of intention you convey. At the same time, learning how intention is communicated will make you more aware and less susceptible to manipulation. There are a lot of ways to learn, I personally found the book “The Charisma Myth” to be very helpful.

    Satvik

  2. Our legal system in fact does pretty well at sorting out intentional, negligent, and merely accidental behaviors, though it is based on rather more than private WAGs by individuals. Psychopaths can defeat it sometimes, but as you say they are usually too smart to run up against it.

  3. Have you read The Gervais Principle Series by Venkatesh Rao? It is a pretty daunting read. It is based on Hugh MacLeod’s cartoon, Company Hierarchy which divides the people in a company into 3 categories: Sociopaths, Clueless and Losers

    The Gervais Principle in short is :

    “Sociopaths, in their own best interests, knowingly promote over-performing losers into middle-management, groom under-performing losers into sociopaths, and leave the average bare-minimum-effort losers to fend for themselves.”

    The entire series is here, and you will need to read the first part to understand the terminology: http://www.ribbonfarm.com/2009/10/07/the-gervais-principle-or-the-office-according-to-the-office/

  4. This is all well and good as far as it goes but it really doesn’t go very far. Essentially concluding correctly that, “For better or worse, our tendency to separate people into “good” and “evil” relies on our assessment of a person’s true intention, rather than that person’s action” but then going on to argue, “In the real world, one really never knows what another person’s intentions are. That’s pure guesswork. Unlike in fiction, we only know our own intentions, and sometimes not even that. We have a desperate desire to know others’ intentions, but we never will. The quality of evidence available to us, even for the most perceptive and socially skilled people, is poor”, pretty much means as a socially-based species, we are doomed. And that anyone who actually develops this skill be it a mother intently focused on her child, or a teacher who learns this same “emotionally intelligent” ability from “easy to read” and far more open children, is wrong and has “a foolish confidence in their own social skill.”

    But this “skill”, this ability to “read others” down yes, to their actual intentions and to use empirically observed data to check if one’s readings correlates to results or not, is the very definition of emotional intelligence. And that intelligence — that actually developable “skill” of emotional reading of others and their actual motivations pretty accurately — becomes an urgently necessary social intelligence skill in a society that has consistently managed to reward and promote the opposite and finds itself derailing because of that very tendency. That is why, as Daniel Goleman argues, Emotional IQ can be more important than IQ in one’s success in life in the way that it turns out matters most to most human beings — successful relationships with others based on real empathy and learning to read and understand one’s own actual motivations and thus subsequently better read others’.

    Is it possible that sociopaths successfully “fake” this level of ‘empathy’ by simple mimicry and fool most emotionally unintelligent people who have never themselves been taught to develop this skill? Obviously you can make an entire society “stupid” in this way. But the one person or group they don’t ever fool — those with actual emotional intelligence that can spot them pretty easily and pretty quickly, and do. And know to get away from them, if they can’t stop them because everyone else denies one can know what on subconscious levels many people do actually know already.

    What is “paternalistic” is to argue that true empathy, true understanding of another is just foolish inflating of that “paternalistic” delusion that one can ‘know what someone else is up to’. If you haven’t developed the part of your brain that is made to analyze and construct plausible realities of exactly that, you aren’t going to have many successful life experiences and probably no good close relationships. But perhaps the misunderstanding here is that the core of emotional intelligence isn’t usually developed in the “paternalistic” mindset very much at all, but more possibly in the more “maternalistic” one, or even more likely in ourselves when we were children and learned to honestly assess and be accountable for our own intentions, emotions and resulting relationships before we were paternalistically convinced that that just isn’t possible.

    My argument would be that not only is it indeed possible and that it can be developed in children into their adulthood — but that for all the reasons stated in this otherwise really excellent post — it is an absolutely critical skill set needed at this stage of human interdependency. And a verifiable one. That may be why schools worldwide are beginning to look into and develop this very “curriculum” of how to teach and thus develop more emotionally and socially intelligent people, as we have clearly aced the model on how to develop its opposite.

    And then from that narrowed and limited result argue why it proves it is impossible to do, at all.

    But that isn’t what new brain theory and new neuroscience is saying about the actual brain capacities for this very kind of intelligence, and its actual potentials in the human child, despite the still clear limits on mind reading.

  5. I just ran into your blog when I google for ‘reading hidden intentions’ regarding some recent personal thoughts I had about how the world works. I’m still reading through this post, but couldn’t stop myself from being amazed at your insight and analysis (trust me, I rarely am). I wanted to drop a comment in — this is the first post I’m reading, but I like the way you view and analyze the world.. hopefully, other posts are just as interesting!

    • Thanks.

      The high quality of my posts is actually an artifact of my high-functioning hypergraphia (compulsive writing; I am actually diagnosed with this). I only publish about 1 in 25 blog posts that I write, so the other 24 (which are mostly rambling and frequently cross the 4000-word barrier without resolving anything) never see the light of day.

      I’m glad you liked this post. It was something I noticed in observing the differences between how people perceive morality in closed, omniscient narrative vs. amid the ambiguity of real life.

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